THE SUBS 'N' DUDS Number 4 REPORT 24 May 1996 Editor: Harold Hark Melbourne, Australia
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- Hark's Barks
- The Gunslingers of Gympie
Where's Me Tablets! by Gort Slypesunder HARK'S BARKS by Harold Hark The Gunslingers of Gympie There they were with their sloping foreheads and phlegmatic outrage, the inbred, genetic garbage of Gympie. Responding to a call to arms, they were happy to take a few hours off from the usual pursuits of wife beating, incest and animal slaughter to shake their beer guts and flabby arses in defiance of the wishes of that species so threatening to their existence: the human race. Tragically, the trolls of Gympie are not alone. They represent an international population of prehistoric throwbacks for whom everything that moves is a potential enemy. Their convoluted conspiracy theoriesnot without the odd salient pointare concocted from a medieval brew of fear and ignorance concerning solutions: It made sense to keep firearms a hundred years ago, it doesn't today. Bullets are not going to solve the dilemmas facing the world. But individual responsibility in a collective frameworkthat is, each one of us making the attempt to comprehend the problems and then acting collectively to solve them, just might. Meanwhile, the Federal and State governments have an explosive situation on their hands, leading perhaps to violent civil disorder. No appeasement is possible, because the Gympies consider governments to be the enemy. Until Port Arthur, they were a segment of the Silent Majority who lived harmless, isolated lives, far from the machinations of evolution. Now they are united in a potentially suicidal, misanthropic lust to give their lives meaning. They not only own guns, they own arsenals, and they want war. Like the Survivalists, Minutemen and fundamentalist Militias in the United States, they are looking forward to that final 'heroic' shootout against what they perceive to be the greatest of evils: peace on earth, good will towards all. | |
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