Product Description

TAKE YOUR TRAVEL TIPS FROM DAVE BARRY,
A GUY WHO IS REALLY GONE!

Complete with maps, histories, quaint local facts (France's National Underwear Changing Day is March 12), song lyrics, helpful hints on how to get through Customs (all insects must be spayed), and tidbits from Dave Barry's own fond vacation nightmares, DAVE BARRY'S ONLY TRAVEL GUIDE YOU'LL EVER NEED is just that. You'll find everything you need to know in this incredibly comprehensive reference, including:

- Air Travel (Or: Why Birds Never Look Truly Relaxed)
- Traveling as a Family (Or: No, We Are NOT There Yet)
- Traveling in Europe ("Excuse me! Where is the Big Mona Lisa?")
- Camping: Nature's Way of Promoting the Motel Industry
Amazon.com Review
Dave describes the dark side of tourism with such comicalprecision that you'll wonder why you ever bother to leave the safetyof your living room. For my money, nobody has ever produced a bettersnapshot of the Baggage Carousel, "where passengers traditionallygather at the end of a flight to spend several relaxing hours watchingthe arrival of luggage from some other flight, which comesrandomly spurting out of a mysterious troll-infested tunnel that isapparently connected to another airport, possibly in a different dimension." ... Read more

Customer Reviews (36)

Absolute best hospital entertainment ever!!!
A friend gave me this to read while I was in the hospital and I almost died laughing.Laughed so hard my stomach muscles were cramping up and I thought they were going to kick me out for making so much noise laughing!Perfect book for anybody who has done any traveling or has even thought about traveling.

Amusing, quick read
Ironically enough, this is just the sort of book you would want to pack up and take with you to read while on a trip - while on a plane or sitting by the pool or on the beach, for example.A quick and easy read, Barry pokes fun at anyone and everyone as is his wont in this satirical look at traveling and vacations.

A lot of this stuff actually didn't hit home for me, because the only traveling I've really done was to visit family and friends - mostly driving - and the one time I flew anywhere it went fairly well.But I have certainly heard the horror stories from other people and it doesn't sound too far off!

At any rate, if you're a Dave Barry fan and want something quick and light to read, this is a book you'll want to pick up.

Dave Barry + Travel = Funny (But Familiar)
My Rating: 3 stars
Brief Summary: A goofy book about travel (both domestic and international) by popular funnyman Dave Barry. My personal favorite part was his description of the fifty states and their highlights.
Brief Thoughts: If you've ever read a Dave Barry book, I suspect you know exactly what this book is like already. This was a fun "bathroom" read, and I neither highly recommend this book or don't recommend it. It is what it is.

Dave Barry is Very Funny, I think?
I enjoyed this book very much or, at least I think I will if I ever receive it. In a temporary fit of stupidity, I selected "standard shipping" and Amazon sent the book via USPS as a punishment for not selecting their reasonably priced $35.00 charge for sending this book 2nd Day Air via a reliable delivery service like UPS. Don't get me wrong, everyone on the cul-de-sac likes our USPS delivery person, we all agree on that point each time we meet in the middle of the street to exchange mail and packages delivered to the wrong address by this dedicated employee of the Postal Service.

And our USPS guy does reflect the high standards of the Postal Service, he smiles and waves each time he sees you - and that's in contrast to the UPS guy who just delivers your Amazon package promptly to your doorstep, knocks on your door to let you know he dropped off your package and them scuries off to deliver other packages. Our USPS guy does have some minor problems, like not being able to read addresses properly, dropping your package off somewhere in your garage (he lets himself in without bothering you) and having a poor sense of direction (he once got lost in the back of his tiny delivery truck - the one with the steering wheel on the wrong side).

So, enjoy this book as much as I hope I will if I ever receive it - it's only been 10 days on the road and should arrive very soon. And if you're thinking of buying it, do so but don't begrudge Amazon their modest fee of $35.00 which avoids the USPS service and actually delivers this very funny book sometime before the first snowfall this coming winter. P. S. I like Amazon very much, may their profits always be outrageous.

One of the Funniest Books Ever
Dave Barry is the funniest writer I've ever read, and this is one of his top two books - the other being Dave Barry Slept Here.This mock Travel Guide is Dave Barry at the peak of his comic genius. ... Read more

Product Description
WHEN DAVE BARRY IS ON THE LOOSE, NO ONE IS SAFE!

What Dave Barry did for the men's movement in his Complete Guide to Guys and for foreign relations when he did Japan he now does for . . . everything in America. The rapacious observer of Tupperware ladies and leisure concept salesmen sounds off on:

Football--Football is more than just a game. It is a potential opportunity to see a live person lying on the ground with a bone sticking out of his leg, while the fans, to show their appreciation, perform "the wave."

Sailing--There's nothing quite like getting out on the open sea, where you can forget about the hassles and worries of life on land, and concentrate on the hassles and worries of life on the sea, such as death by squid.

Gambling--Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, "Thank You for Not Smoking." The best you can hope for is, "Thank You for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck."Amazon.com Review
A Greatest Hits package to die for, in which the inimitable,Pulitzer-packing humorist applies himself to taxes, toilets, airbags,baseball, beer commercials, and numerous other American artifacts. Atypical bit, from a piece on legalized gambling: "Off-Track Bettingparlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say,'Thank You for Not Smoking.' The best you could hope for is, 'ThankYou for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck.'" Happy? There'splenty more where that came from. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (30)

Hilarious!
I reread this book about once a year, and it is laugh-out-loud funny!My husband and I are currently reading a few pages each night, and we are enjoying every minute of it!Dave Barry's word choice, topics, and his ability to take everything to the extreme make each article great.

The Title Speaks the Truth!
This is one of those timeless humor books that holds up just as well today as it did when it was initially released 15 years ago! Dave Barry's mastery of the written word is at peak performance with this collection of columns. When they stuck the words "GREATEST HITS" on the cover, they were absolutely not lying.

Sure, some of the events and people discussed within these pages may be dated, but if you were alive for those times (or took a history class in school) then you'll still appreciate a fresh and hilarious perspective.

This book contains my all time favorite Barry column titled "Molecular Homicide" which tells the tell of the author having the flu and what happens when he is unable to get out of bed to monitor his young son's activities. This column alone is worth the price of the book. If you enjoy that column then there are plenty more that will tickle your funny bone.

This is a good starting point for anyone getting into Barry for the first time. It's a book that's easy to pick up whenever you have a few minutes and since each column is only 2-3 pages in length you can always come back to it later without having to worry about remembering what you read previously. Though don't be surprised if you find yourself reading some columns numerous times! It's a perfect book to keep in the bathroom for those quick visits, or in the kitchen for when you're microwaving some food.

If you make it through his "Greatest Hits" then I highly recommend "Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need," followed by "Dave Barry is Not Making This Up."
You can't go wrong with any of his books, but I found the 3 mentioned to be the funniest.

Dave Barry is way funny.
I really enjoyed this book.I'm a big fan of Dave Barry, although I think he is much funnier in person.

Check Your Brain at the Front Cover
Dave Barry isn't always funny, and I find he's better in small doses than in ... er... large buckets, but when he's good, he's good. Dave Barry's Greatest Hits is something to take to the beach and have a look at after one or two rum cocktails. It's light, jokey entertainment; the intellectual equivalent of watching, say, David Letterman. If you like Barry's Miami Herald column and are looking to read more, where better to begin than with the Greatest Hits?

Troy Parfitt, author

Funny Dave
As an Irish person, living in a small town in rainy Ireland, it is unusual to find a book by Dave Barry..(hooray for Amazon). I don't know anyone who has any idea who he is, and why should they.. he is or was(?) a journalist for the Miami Herald, and is a well known funny man in the States, and no singular Irishman or woman has any reason to know of him.. and isn't it a shame. I love funny books. I have some great ones...but Dave is one of the funniest guys I've never met. This book is full of anecdotal ravings and mad perceptions but, you know he is really so funny, you don't care if he talks of giant carnivorous fleas somewhere in the mid-west, or helping his son with a science project waiting for the ants to bite. (ME thinks him an entomologist at heart).. but he has such a funny way of putting things, that no matter what the subject matter, you will read it and enjoy it. Let's face it, in this violent, crime filled world, isn't it still nice that you can have a smile put on your face! ... Read more

Product Description
A brilliantly funny exploration of the treacherous state of adulthood by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist.

Some people may wonder what this subject has to do with Dave Barry, since Dave's struggled hard against growing up his entire life-but the result is one of the funniest, warmest, most pitch-perfect books ever on that mystifying territory we call "adulthood".

In hilarious, brand-new pieces, Dave tackles everything from fatherhood, new fatherhood ("Over the next five years, you will spend roughly 45 minutes, total, listening to songs you like, and roughly 127,000 hours to songs exploring topics such as how the horn on the bus goes* [*It goes: 'Beep! Beep! Beep!']"), self-image, the battle of the sexes, celebrityhood, technology, parenting styles, certain unmentionable medical procedures ("There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a vasectomy, except that: THEY CUT A HOLE IN YOUR SCROTUM."), and much more. It is a book of pure delight from the man one newspaper claimed "could become the most important American humorist since Mark Twain" (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)...though, frankly, we think they were indulging in some adult beverages at the time.

Amazon.com Review

Jen Lancaster and Dave Barry: Author One-on-One

Jen Lancaster is a former vice president at an investor relations firm and a New York Times bestselling author. Her books includeMy Fair Lazy,Pretty in Plaid, andBitter is the New Black.She replaced Dave Barry as writer for Humor Hotel, a nationally syndicated humor column.Read on to see Jen Lancaster's questions for Dave Barry, or turn the tablesto see what he asked her.

Jen: The Pulitzer Prize looks a lot like those gold-colored one-dollar Sacagawea coins.Do you still have yours or did you accidentally use it in a parking meter?

Dave: I actually lost my Pulitzer Prize for several years. I put it in a safe place, then I forgot where that was. My wife eventually found it and put it an even safer place. But your question disturbs me, because it’s NOT a coin: It looks more like a middle-school diploma. So now I’m wondering: Is it really a Pulitzer Prize? Maybe I was the victim of an elaborate practical joke wherein Columbia University gave me a middle-school diploma and just TOLD me it was a Pulitzer. That would make sense, because (a) nobody ever really believes I won a Pulitzer, and (b) in university circles Columbia is known as a big prankster.

Jen: Does it indeed take a village?

Dave: I actually grew up in a village, specifically the village of Armonk, New York. Everybody in Armonk knew everybody else back then, which meant that if, as a high-school student, you (and here I am using “you” in the sense of “I”) experimented a tad (and here I am using “a tad” in the sense of “way”) too heavily with adult beverages one night in the fall of 1964 and passed out on a lawn that—of all the lawns you could have picked in Armonk—was the lawn belonging to Chief of Police Hergenhan, you would not be arrested; instead, Chief Hergenhan, upon discovering you drooling facedown into his crabgrass at 1:30 a.m., would call your dad to come get you, because he knew your dad, and he also knew that you would spend approximately the next two weeks retching, which was punishment enough. So I would say yes.

Jen: If X = Agent Jack Bauer and Y = shooting someone in the thigh, how many perimeters need to be set up to bring Edgar back to life?

Dave: It depends on how long it takes Chloe to get a visual on the satellite and upload the schematics.

Jen: Children seem to be more delicate than when we were kids. Do you advocate encasing them in Lucite until their eighteenth birthday?

Dave: These kids today don’t know how easy they have it, with their iPhones and their iPads and their atmosphere consisting of 21 percent oxygen and 78 percent nitrogen and 1 percent various other gases. When I was a youngster we didn’t have ANYTHING. We didn’t even have HAIR. We sat around naked in the cold, sucking on rocks for nourishment. But you never heard us complain, and by God we licked the Great Depression and won World War II. No, wait, that was our parents’ generation. But we faced challenges of our own. Junior year abroad, for example. That was no picnic. So you don’t even want to KNOW what I think.

Jen: Shirts or skins?

Dave: You always want to be on the skins team, because that way you’re guarding a guy on the shirts team, which means if you touch him you’re touching his shirt, which is an okay way to touch another guy (for very a brief period). If you’re on the shirts team, you have to guard a guy on the skins team, which means you might come into contact with his actual skin, which is wrong on several levels, not the least of which is that he will be oozing perspiration slime, like a giant eel with b.o. This is the main reason why guys turn to golf.

Jen: Will men use GPS or do they consider this the modern-day equivalent of stopping to ask for directions at the gas station—which is to say, an affront to their masculinity?

Dave: It’s acceptable to use a GPS because it is an incomprehensibly complex electronic device and therefore manly. But it is NOT acceptable to use the same GPS for long periods of time. Every six months or so you must buy a newer model with more features that you don’t need and a larger screen. Screen size is the important thing. Your goal is to eventually have a GPS with a screen so large that you can’t see out your windshield; when you drive you’re just looking at this humongous GPS screen. But you are still wondering, deep inside, when they’re going to come out with a bigger one.

Jen: Bret Michaels’s fans still throw their panties onstage when he performs.What do Rock Bottom Remainders groupies toss?

Dave:We have had panties thrown at us. But they were labeled “MAXIMUM OCCUPANCY 30 PEOPLE.”

(Photo of Jen Lancaster © Jeremy Lawson)
(Photo of Dave Barry © Raul Ribiera/Miami Herald)

Customer Reviews (36)

Barry takes a look at such diverse topics as fatherhood, self-image, the battle of the sexes, and reality shows.
I'm sorry that Dave Barry no longer writes a regular newspaper column . . . his observations were always something I'd look forward to reading.

He has now taken to writing books, and his latest--I'LL MATURE WHEN I'M DEAD--is a real winner . . as described in the subtitle, DAVE BARRY'S AMAZING TALES OF ADULTHOOD, he takes a look at such diverse topics as fatherhood, self-image, the battle of the sexes, reality shows and certain unmentionable medical procedures.

I specially liked his take on technology:

* In the old days, the closest you could get to Twitter would be mail dozens of postcards a day to everybody you know, each with a brief message like, "Just had a caramel frappuccino. Yum!" The people receiving these postcards would have naturally assumed that you were a moron with a narcissism disorder.

The author also answers such provocative questions as the following: Why don't men listen to women?


* They do listen. But they listen for specific information. Men are problem-solvers. They are doers. When you talk to them, they are listening to determine (a) what the problem is, and (b) what they need to do about it, so that they can (c) resume watching ESPN. When they have the information they need, they stop listening.

In the early phases of your relationship with a man, he listens to you a lot, because he is trying to solve a very important problem, namely, getting you to have sex with him. No matter what you talk about--your work, your friends, the fruit flies of the Ryukyu Islands--the man will pay close attention, because you might give him a clue indicating how he can get you to become naked.

Once he has solved this problem, he becomes more selective in his listening. He will be most alert when you talk about a specific, clearly defined problem, because he can then use his reasoning skills to come up with a solution. For example, if you tell him that the car motor is making a funny noise, he will listen intently, then determine what he needs to do, namely, wait for a few day, in case it goes away.

Lastly, I'LL MATURE had me reminiscing to such events as my daughter's dance recital:

* Once your wife is convinced that your daughter is ready(allow nine hours) it's time to go to the recital, which will be in an auditorium containing hundreds of people who are no more interested in watching your daughter dance than you are in watching their daughters dance. As you enter, you will be handed a program, and when you examine it, you will find that your daughter's first dance routine is near the beginning of the program, and her second routine is near the very end. In between will be roughly two thousand routines featuring other people's daughters.

I had only read one piece in the book before--a hilarious true account of Barry's colonoscopy . . . the other 17 essays were new and had never been published before.

typical Dave Barry
This volume contains essays filled with Dave's typical sophomoric humor, i.e., references to various orifices of the human body and their products.While this is not my favorite type of humor per se, I laughed out loud at Dave's more "adult" humor, reflected in his enlightened observations of human behavior and his touching portrayal of his family, including the dog.I will give this to my brother for Christmas.

More inspired silliness from a Pulitzer-prize winning writer
Dave Barry has been part of the Florida landscape almost as long as palm trees have.I've read most of his earlier works, which were basically his Miami Herald columns.Here, he writes of the ups and downs of adulthood including, but not limited to, getting a vasectomy, dealing with kids today, watching his own son marry, modern technology, and celebrity.He also writes one of the funniest send-ups of Twilight ever.If you want a good laugh, read this book.

Another silly little trifle cranked out by Dave Barry. He writes books because
his newspaper column was too short for the longer form he wanted. It worked, for him. But it is just another one of those books you could read in the four hours you spend in the waiting room of your doctor. Longer does not mean better. I read his column for years in my local paper. These longer pieces still feature his own peculiar brand of nonsense but are not worth $24.95 (cheaper thru amazon) to get 18 of them at the same time. The book is only about 200 pages of actual written word pages since there are many blank pages not to mention 3 pictures of Nick Nolte (the same picture). He is laugh out loud funny with a kernel of truth in his articles. I even relate to them since I'm the same age as Mr. Barry. But I was content with the shorter take. The chapters on health care, Judaism for Christians & colonoscopieswere especially funny. A Vampire Novel was crushingly boring. The Ultimate Script was terrible. A page filler to give this under-fed book, heft. I'd rather spend five minutes every Sunday morning than pay for this book.

Dave Barry's Good at Observing
When mocking something, such as 24 or Twilight, Dave Barry becomes a comedy genius in the realms of Sedaris or Samantha Bee, but when not, he relies on comedy cliches that usually fall flat.

Dave Barry is an above average comedian, but he choses topics that are too common. This would be fine if he did something creative but he merely tries to expand on comedic cliches and ends up seeming forced and unfunny. He cannot write funny things about his life, yet about other things he can create laugh riots.

However, the thing I dislike the most about Barry is his "political supereority". Many comedians and comic artists like to assert their superiority over others by mocking radicals on both sides and being "independent".

This way, they come across as an "intellectual" and they don't have to actually inform themselves! Easily persuaded by charismatic politicians or clever PR Agents, they never do research and usually when they vote they're hurting society by not making an informed decision.

When these people are comedians or comic artists they love to criticize politics as a whole. This is loved by the ignorant masses, but it just shows that everyone hates what they don't understand.

Barry masterfully mocks health care but then proceeds to make uninformed, ignorant, baseless and simple cliche "government is stupid, they screw everything up" jokes about the situation. Barry doesn't seem to understand that if the government didn't exist he would be out of a job. ... Read more

Product Description
A brilliantly funny exploration of the treacherous state of adulthood by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist.

Some people may wonder what this subject has to do with Dave Barry, since Dave's struggled hard against growing up his entire life-but the result is one of the funniest, warmest, most pitch-perfect books ever on that mystifying territory we call "adulthood".

In hilarious, brand-new pieces, Dave tackles everything from fatherhood, new fatherhood ("Over the next five years, you will spend roughly 45 minutes, total, listening to songs you like, and roughly 127,000 hours to songs exploring topics such as how the horn on the bus goes* [*It goes: 'Beep! Beep! Beep!']"), self-image, the battle of the sexes, celebrityhood, technology, parenting styles, certain unmentionable medical procedures ("There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a vasectomy, except that: THEY CUT A HOLE IN YOUR SCROTUM."), and much more. It is a book of pure delight from the man one newspaper claimed "could become the most important American humorist since Mark Twain" (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)...though, frankly, we think they were indulging in some adult beverages at the time.

... Read more

Customer Reviews (8)

Hilarious book
I have always loved Dave Barry's writing and never get tired of it. This book doesn't disappoint. I needed something to read on a plane for a trip I really didn't want to take, but this book was among those that got me through it. Many laughs! People on the plane must have thought I was crazy because I was laughing to myself so much. Thanks, Dave!!

One of the great observers of the late 20th century
It's Dave Barry!So whaddaya expect?

This is Barry at his best, and quoting from the book diminishes the experience of reading it.

If you know Dave Barry's work, look, just buy it already!You know what you're getting.

If you do not know his work, and if you like non-sequitur humor, booger jokes, and just plain goofiness, you *must* read this.You will thank yourself, as you shell out dollars to obtain his earlier writings.

Barry is back!
I was a little worried that the spark had gone for Dave Barry, since his last few books have been less than stellar.But with this newest offering, the classic Dave Barry humor is back, and as good as ever.May Mr. Barry have many more years before he "matures"!

Long time fan
I loved this book!
I started reading Dave Barry as a kid, with The Taming of the Screw, and if your a fan of Barry at all, I highly recommend I'll Mature when I'm Dead. Different from his previous books, such as Dave Barry Slept Here, this is a compilation of essays, longer than his standard columns. I actually prefer this format as it allows the author to talk at length about a given subject (Miami tourism, being a new Dad, etc.) but still allows him to cover multiple topics. I bought this on my Kindle and haven't stopped laughing since! This book is best suited for kids 10 and up, as Barry is a very tame humorist, finding wit in everyday situations rather than relying on being crude like many other comedians.
Bottom line, would (and have) recommend this to a friend.

Overall Funny
Listening to the audio version narrated by Dave Barry, I honestly did laugh out loud a few times.
My only gripes would be the paradies of '24' and the 'Twilight' series. I don't watch these shows
thus it was very boring. I fast forwarded through twilight because it was toooo long.
Overall still a big fan though. ... Read more

Product Description
If you love to laugh, if you love your country, if you are unaware that "the Sixth Amendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have the right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty," Dave Barry Slept Here is the book for you. Every single momentous event and crucial movement is covered, including:

• The Birthing Contractions of a Nation
  
• Kicking Some British Butt
  
• The Forging of a Large, Wasteful Bureaucracy
  
• The Civil War: A Nation Pokes Itself in the Eyeball
  
• The Fifties: Peace, Prosperity, Brain Death
  
• The Reagan-Bush Years: Napping Toward Glory
  
• And much more!
  

Customer Reviews (52)

Awesome book!!!
One of Dave Barry's BEST books!!!! I laughed myself silly! For anyone who loves US history!!!!! Two thumbs up!

Absolutely Hilarious Read
Dave Barry Slept Here was my introduction to the ingenious comedy of Dave Barry, when a friend lent it to me 20 years ago, and I've been a fan ever since. This is my favorite book he's ever written.If you know even a little bit about US History, then you will find this satire hilarious.

This was pretty funny... for about 10 pages.
This book was pretty funny... for about 10 pages then it got really old. It took me about 60 pages to give up on it altogether. There's a reason that SNL skits only last five minutes, Dave.

I understand Barry is a columnist of some sort so in small chunks his material is probably golden but in book format this just didn't work at all.

Funny everytime
This book is incredible. You will be laughing out loud. The more U.S. history you know the funnier it is. I highly recommend this book for anyone. It is a great gift for a student of U.S. history as they will learn to appreciate it more the more they learn.

The Funniest Book I've Ever Read
Dave Barry's "Dave Barry Slept Here" is a hilarious pseudo/satire-history of the United States.Anyone familiar with Dave Barry's wit from his columns will immediately recognize the same wit unleashed on so much of our history that we have heard, if not necessarily really learned, throughout our lives.

Dave Barry writes like a high-school student - intentionally, of course.He attributes great advances to "technology," isn't interested in the Smoot-Hawley Tariff so he skips it because it sounds boring, and decides that every important event in American history happened on October 8th so that he doesn't have to remember any more dates (even the Fourth of July happened on October 8th, 1776).And he ends every chapter with hilarious "discussion questions" that are just as funny as the text.

I've read and re-read this hilarious book, and it's great to just pick up and start reading in the middle whenever you need a good chuckle.Anyone who likes Dave Barry, enjoys American history, or is interested in what three-word sentence you can rearrange the letters in "Spiro Agnew" to spell (hint: the first word is "grow") should read this book and enjoy!
... Read more

Product Description
A brilliantly funny look at the tumultuous recent past from the Pulitzer Prize–winning humorist.

Remember when everything was going to go to hell when Y2K struck?

That didn’t happen. Right?

But what did happen? To provide a little perspective on a really messed-up millennium (so far), the one and only Dave Barry slips into his historian’s robe (it’s plush terrycloth) and revisits the defining moments in our country’s recent history—from the Bush years to…jeez, it’s still the Bush years! As an added bonus, Barry quickly—we’re busy here—tosses in the complete history of the last millennium, covering crucial turning points such as the invention of the pizza by Leonardo da Vinci and the computer by Charles Babbage (who died in 1871 still waiting to talk to tech support).

Fellow Americans, the time has come to bone up with Barry as he puts the hysterical in history. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (35)

Hilarious Book
This is another fall down laughing book from Dave Barry.I don't know how he does it.I couldn't get through one page without laughing out loud.Friends and family around me thought I was nuts until they read the book themselves.Dave Barry's ability to make something funny about anything never ceases to amaze me.Needless to say I LOVED IT!

Funny, in a silly and juvenile sort of way.
Some of Dave Barry's books are screamingly, laugh-out-loud funny. Others are just silly and juvenile. Even the silly and juvenile ones are amusing and enjoyable reads, but they aren't nearly as good as, say, "Dave Barry Is NOT Making This Up", Dave Barry Turns 40", and "Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need". This is one of the lesser Dave Barry books; it's still amusing, in a juvenile and just plain silly way, but it's far from his best. In it, he gives a spoof, "Harvard Lampoon" style recap of the millennium from 1000-1999 (which, for some reason apparently involving a complete lack of a grasp of simple arithmetic, he calls the first millennium) and then follows this up with his spoof "year in review" columns for 2000 and 2002-2006; he explains that in 2001, he simply didn't feel that it was appropriate to deal with the 9/11 attack in a humorous way, but he didn't see any way that he could either A) ignore it, or B) treat it seriously while treating the rest of the year humorously; this shows that he actually DOES have some taste, tact, and common sense, despite what he would have you believe.)

Laughed all the way through this book
This is vintage Dave Barry.My only complaint is that eventually the book ended.Lots of fun!

Hilarious
Watch out for Citrus canker.. this book is hilarious, Dave Barry never fails to make me laugh, even if it is dated material.

Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far)
This collection of Dave Barry's 21st century annual reviews, with his sort of history of the world prior to the year 2000, aims its pointed humor at the absurd behavior of those who may take themselves just a little too seriously, and especially those who seem to think they can outwit the general public. While it may be true that an alarming number of Americans can be outwitted, you can be sure "the funniest man in America" won't be among them. From suit-wearing talking heads on TV, to Martha Stewart (who just wants to focus on her salad), to Al Gore (and his status reports from earth), to most anyone connected to the Bush administration, (like Dick, "Dick," Cheney), Barry massacres them all with his rapier wit. He only spares the year 2001 because after the September 11 attacks "it didn't feel right to make jokes about the rest of the year and then either ignore the attacks or suddenly become serious." This book is a must for those who want the funniest, and possibly the most realistic, perspective on how the world really works. ... Read more

Product Description
For thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them, dealing frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as:

- Scratching
- Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series but
   not necessarily the names of all his children
- Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts
- Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher
   Method
- Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a "prostate" ... Read more

Customer Reviews (49)

Five thumbs up
When I first bought this book, years ago, I thought it would last me part of the way across the Pacific (12+ hours).I couldn't finish the Introduction, and before I gave up, had disgraced myself several times by laughing out loud, wiping tears from my eyes, doubling-up, and ensuring the seat next to me became vacant.Flight attendants kept a keen eye on me all the way from Sydney to LAX.I had no better success on the return trip (12+ hours).I have progressed no further on subsequent, very determined, attempts to read this book, in all sorts of conducive "I WILL read this" situations.It is dangerous if you have a) had an operation in the past several years, b) have bladder trouble or c) try to read it when your wife is trying to sleep.Be warned.It is light years beyond hilarious.

Non-Stop Fun!
Part of me wanted to be really upset with humorist Dave Barry for revealing many well-guarded Guy secrets in this book, but the other part of me got distracted from doing so by watching a neighbor fire a Civil War era cannon in his yard for no apparent reason.

Barry's mission (that he chose to accept) is to keep the reader laughing and this book absolutely delivers. Recommended reading for every guy, in order to learn more about themselves (as long as they don't get emotional), and for every female so that they can better understand their mates and what exactly they are getting themselves into.

No information is sugarcoated and no punches are pulled over the 200+ page exploration of the guy psyche. As long as you remember that Dave is writing a humor book intended to make you chuckle, you'll appreciate his insight and his jokes.

Even though this book is approaching it's 20 year mark, it's still a hilarious today's as it likely was upon publication. If you don't need a ton of substance with your laughs, you'll enjoy this title along with anything else written by the funniest man in America.

Book was in great condition like new.
Was disappointed at the use of God's name in vane. I discarded book for this reason.I would not purchased this book if I had known this.

So Funny it is Dangerous
Don't give this book to anyone in a hospital---they will probably tear out their sutures, or roll out of bed, with laughter.

Dave Barry's humor has the subtlety of a highway blowout--but without being obscene or offensive (as is the humor of too many comedians).The comedic timing is impeccable.It is said that the key to humor is truth.The key to Dave Barry's humor is profound insights into the ordinary.

For guys, in addition to the head-banging laughter, is the insight of being a member of a "community".That we are "normal"--for guys.

Women will find the book just as humorous and insightful, but for different reasons.

Okay, I admit that as an older guy, I find many of the alleged "guy" things to be juvenile.Which is to say, something from my far juvenile past.I may have outgrown many of these behaviors, but I still feel their motivation.It is in many ways reassuring, in many ways a cold splash of humanity.It is like discovering a beloved toy from childhood, I had forgotten decades ago.

Incomplete guide
This book by Dave Barry who is usually very funny, was a disappoint. Not very funny and not at all informative. A disappointment. ... Read more

Product Description
You can't make this stuff up! Dave Barry would never lie--and here are the real life, laugh-out-loud stories from across America to prove it: a U.S. Supreme Court justice shares his remedy for preventing gas ("I had not realized that this was a matter of concern in the highest levels of government"); a newspaper headline in Ohio announces the combustibility of strawberry Pop-Tarts ("A story that can really help you gain a better understanding of how you can be killed by breakfast snack food"); the frightening fact that snakes have mastered the pipelines leading directly to your toilet--and they're not shy ("Many women might view this as a fair punishment for all the billions of times that guys have left the seat up").

So get up-close with Dave as he swears to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth . . . so God help you!Amazon.com Review
The title, as Dave Barry admits, is not entirelyaccurate. To be sure, this collection of articles does contain what thePulitzer-Prize-winning author calls "an unusually high (for me) levelof factual content." But there is also an abundance of goofyreportage, fart jokes (see "It's A Gas"), and Barry's long-overduethoughts on natural childbirth. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (23)

Barry's The Best
If you know who Dave Barry is, you've probably already read this book no more needs to be said! If you don't - get this book, or any one of his many article anthologies, and get ready to gasp with laughter. Barry's many years as a humor writer for the Miami Herald provides no end to material for these compilations of observationary wit on everything from anagrams to zippers. Barry's the best! If there is ever a humorist Hall of Fame, he'll certainly be the first inductee.

Dave Barry is not making this up--except for the parts that he is
In addition to following up 1992's "Dave Barry Talks Back" with a collection of his weekly humor columns from the Miami Herald through 1994, this book also includes several longer pieces Dave Barry wrote for other publications, including one about the "natural" birth of his son, an expose of a Western Florida UFO hoax, and a couple of travelogues (of a sort) about a trip to China on the eve of Britain's withdrawal from Hong Kong and a boating trip to Bimini Bay.Also included is a rather serious (for Barry) column about his son being hit by a car while riding his bike, which is actually quite touching.

But of course, the staple of any Dave Barry book is the zany humor, and it is plentiful here, including among many other classic columns the infamous "Bad Song Contest."If you are a Dave Barry fan, you will enjoy this book, and if you haven't discovered him yet, this would be a fine place to start.

Laffs In The Palm Of Your Hand!
I first got a taste of Dave Barry after coming upon an essay of his online, which described his misadventures at one of those silly "self-improvement" seminars. Needless to say the cracks about Tony Robbins being an android & other stuff basically required a quick change of undies. So, I wanted to experience more of aching tummies & soggy panties, so I bought this book. Unfortunetely, the story wasn't in this one BUT I was treated to absolute hilarity such as Dave's trip to Bimini on his boat named "Buster".....and the embarrassment of being around guys with "more manly" names for boats like "Sea Biceps" & "Testosterone Torpedo" (guys are weird). Then there's his son, who makes poor Dave feel old with the former's earring & penchant for cutting-edge music such as the song "Detachable [...]" (this is a real song, by the way...or as Dave would say, "I'm not making this up". My sister used to hear all the time on the radio back in the 90's). So, if you want a blast, get this book. Oh.......and remember to visit the "Porcelain Throne", first.

Other Books
A collection of amusing anecdotes from the American writer, humorist and columnist Dave Barry.He finds all sorts of weird, crazy, stupid and funny stuff that people do, say or come up with all across the United States of America, and puts them into print.

Dave doesn't mind a drop of the droll, Dave doesn't.

comedy at its best
I have read nearly all of Dave's books, and it never ceases to amaze me that he can be hilarious on each and every occasion. He doesn't duplicate any annecdotes, he simply uses his comic genius to make up new ones.. you will never be bored with Dave's ability to make you rush to the toilet to save wetting the floor, or laughing so hard you feel sick, and the back of your head hurts. This book is my favourite. Every story is funny, clever, and even sometimes sentimental. Please buy this one, you won't regret it. He's on top form. ... Read more

Product Description
"One of the funniest peole ever to tap tap on a PC."
PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER
Not since George Bush's memorable dinner with the Japanese prime minister has the Land of the Rising Sun seen the likes of a goodwill ambassador like Dave Barry. Join him as he belts out oldies in a karaoke bar, marries a geriatric geisha girl, takes his first bath in public, bows to just about everyone, and explores culture shock in all its numerous humorous forms, including: Failing to Learn Japanese in Only Five Minutes (Or: "Very Much Good Morning, Sir!") ; Humor in Japan (Take My Tofu, Please!); Sports in Japan ("Yo, Batter! Loudly Make it Fly!"), and more.
Amazon.com Review
Is this comedic tour of Japan discreet, tasteful, orpolitically correct? The answer, thank god, is Naaah! Yet DaveBarry's travelogue never grows mean-spirited, and he's always ready tolaugh at his own country--and by extension, himself. An example: "Iunderstand that, even if two Japanese have worked together for manyyears, neither would dream of using the other's first name. WhereasAmericans are on a first-name basis immediately, and by the end of thefirst day have generally graduated to 'Yo, Butthead!'" ... Read more

Customer Reviews (79)

VERRRRY FUNNY BOOK!!!!
I read this book years ago and laughed so hard I was crying. It is verrrrrrrrry funny. I hope you enjoy it if you decide to read it.

Chuckle
Reality-based comedy. Dave Barry isn't a guru on Japanese culture by any stretch of the imagination, moreover this book is now pretty dated as it was published about ten years ago. It was a worth a chuckle or two back in the day, but now that I have lived in Japan, I wonder if I might find it offensive. Then again, I might find it a complete riot. Time and situations have a funny way of playing with you. In any case, I believe that as long as you don't take it seriously and don't use it as a reference to Japan, you'll probably enjoy it.

Funny if dated
Dave Barry wrote this book in the 80s--when the Japanese were apparently taking over the economic world and Americans were trying to salvage some self respect in comparison to their more efficient Eastern neighbors (this, of course, was before Japan entered their 10-year recession of the 1990s and America went in search of other economic rivals like China and India).

The book is really quite funny in the first few chapters.Especially Dave Berry's discussion of Kanji and Kabuki theater.My wife, who teaches Japanese, reads it to her students after exams.Later, he has to emphasize how the Japanese are very homogeneous, which is true--but the discussion is as funny.Barry tries to emphasize how despite their superior efficiency, Japanese don't always have as much fun as us Americans.

Overall, I think it's still a fun book to read if you're headed to Japan.And Dave Berry, as we all know, is definitely one of the great comedic writers of our time.

Disappointing
In this hastily written book Dave Barry sees Japan through the eyes of an American. And all he sees is everything that isn't American about Japan. His whole proposition is that what he does not understand is therefore silly, incompetent, wrong or fodder for ridicule. I found it a disappointing read. He skims the top of a rich and subtle culture and does not bother to go deeper than his initial and basic reactions to anything that he finds new and challenging. In the end, for anyone non-Japanese, everything about Japan is new and challenging and that's why we go there. Yes, I had a few laughs along the way. But in the end I was tired of Dave Barry's continual assumption that 'I am right. You are all wrong' attitude. I would not recommend this book to anyone who wants to know anything about Japan after reading it. The title says it all.

Not as funny as I'd hoped
Dave Barry received an offer from Random House to travel to Japan and write a book about it.How could he turn down a free trip to Japan?Once he gets there, he quickly realizes just how large the language barrier is and finds himself wishing he had learned just a little Japanese.

This was my first book by Dave Barry, but I've read his column a few times.It was interesting and I did find some of it funny, but for the most part, I didn't laugh a lot.I don't know what it is about me.A lot of the stuff that people tell me is laugh out loud funny just don't seem that way to me.I got the same feeling when I read Dave Sedaris and Bill Bryson.I read all the rave reviews and go in with high expectations thinking I'm going to laugh so hard I cry, and end up barely laughing at all.I guess I need to find someone that has a similar sense of humor to my own. ... Read more

Product Description
Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as:

• How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler
• Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money
• Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser
• How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider
• An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel)
• Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate
• How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating
• Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one
• How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any
• Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death
•And many, many pictures of Suze Orman

But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies.


What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you.

Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return.


What is your annual income?
1. More than $50,000.
2. Less than $50,000.
3. However much I get when I return these empties.

Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe?
1. Less than $10,000.
2. More than $10,000.
3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs.

How would you describe your portfolio?
1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities.
2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks.
3. My what?

When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor?
1. The amount of return.
2. The degree of risk.
3. The name of the jockey.

How do you plan to finance your retirement?
1. Savings.
2. Social security.
3. Sale of kidneys.

—from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book”


Also available as a Crown eBook.


From the Hardcover edition. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (53)

Entertaining and sort of educational
Dave Barry,y book audio book helped make a long trip short.
Plus I learned a little bit of economics.

Dave Barry's funny take on high finance
Another hilarious explanation of how things work, by Dave Barry.A virtually fact-free look at how the world of finance really works, Dave is amusing as usual.If you're a fan of Dave, you'll love this book.If you've never read Dave Barry before, you'll be a fan within the first few chapters.

Hilarious!!
I love this audio-book... both my boyfriend and I got it for our dads for Christmas and they love it too!

FUNNY!
I am listening to the audio version of this book on CD and enjoying a few laugh out loud experiences while still on the 1st CD. Barry seems to have many great points including the condition known as FIBS (Furniture Induced Brain Shortage) which appears to be caused by conference room furniture in large, and sometimes small, corporations. I seriously doubt that the set offers any new ideas of making money, spending money, or whatever but it is a refreshing break from worrying about money. I give this book (audio or printed) two thumbs up for creativity and humor but two thumbs down for anything other than comedic relief. Oh, I'll keep listening to the entire set for the entertainment value... you should too!

ROTFL
Over the years we have come to expect from Dave Berry some of the finniest prose in the English language, and this book does not disappoint. He has an incredible skill at turning even the most boring subject matter into something that we can laugh at with reckless abandon. In the "Money Secrets" he takes on the whole genre of self-help financial advice books and their self-appointed gurus. Two people who are particularly in his crosshairs this time around are Suze Orman and Donald Trump. By the end of the book you will not be able to look at these two with any level of seriousness (if you were ever able to do it in the first place that is).

What is particularly disarming about this book is the vintage Dave Berry turn of phrase and the creation of ridiculous ideas out of the most ordinary circumstances. His skill at it makes it seem incredibly easy to write humor for living, but we would be well advised not to try it on our own. Humor of this caliber is best left to the professionals, and we are fortunate enough that Dave keeps coming up with book as often as he does.

Be warned that while reading this book you will break out into fits of uncontrollable laughter which will leave all those around you perplexed and maybe even worried for your mental state of mind. It's best to read Dave Barry alone while no one is watching.
... Read more

Product Description
"RELENTLESSLY FUNNY . . . BARRY SHINES."
--People

A self-professed computer geek who actually does Windows 95, bestselling humorist Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious hard drive via the information superhighway--and into the very heart of cyberspace, asking the provocative question: If God had wanted us to be concise, why give us so many fonts?

Inside you'll find juicy bytes on

• How to Buy and Set Up a Computer; Step One: Get Valium
  
• Nerdstock in the Desert; Or: Bill Gates Is Elvis
  
• Software: Making Your Computer Come Alive So It Can Attack You
  
• Word Processing: How to Press an Enormous Number of Keys Without Ever Actually Writing Anything
  
• Selected Web Sites, including Cursing in Swedish, Deformed Frog Pictures, and The Toilets of Melbourne, Australia
  
• And much, much more!
  

Customer Reviews (58)

Classic Barry
I originally owned this book more than a decade ago, and recently felt moved to repurchase it, recalling it being hysterical. Some of it has not aged well (e.g. he has a chapter about Comdex, which has ceased to be for the last six years, Windows 95 is the latest software), but certain things have; computers breaking down for no apparent reason, internet lingo, and an insightful look into internet affairs via a clever vignette. If you're a Dave Barry fan, or you can catch a good deal on it, go for it.

Very funny, until it isn't
Dave Barry wrote this book back when Windows 95 was the latest, greatest thing in personal computing.Much of it is out of date, but now it is almost nostalgiac.However, you don't really need to know alot about 1990's computers to get the jokes.Computers can still be complicated and frustrating, and the Internet still contains a lot of pointless junk.The book is very funny, in the typical Dave Barry style.I would have rated it much higher, if not for the short story at the end.It is just terrible.It seems like Dave was taking a creative writing course and was assigned to write a story in the second person point of view ("you" do this, "you" say that). The "you" in the story is a suburban woman with a boring job/husband/life."You" discover Internet "chat" and fall in love online with a guy using the alias RayAdverb, and anagram for Dave Barry.Its creepy and not funny, and it drags an otherwise entertaining book to a disappointing conclusion.

A lethally funny combination
Now that Dave Barry has alerted me to the fact that Bill Gates wears a zucchini in his shorts, I will never be afraid of cyberspace again.Hahahahahaha...Oops, I'd better use an emoticon here if I want to be cybercool:

:-D == (a person laughing so hard he or she does not realize that a zucchini is sticking out of his or her pants).

Thanks to Dave, I can now display my feelings online, although I'm not certain how I'm going to work in his emoticon, "person who is none too pleased to be giving birth to a squirrel."Before reading this book, communicating with me via the internet was like trying to strike up a casual conversation with Lieutenant Data.I didn't have a clue about all of those nifty acronyms my friends were inserting into their 'instant messages'.I thought ROTFL had something to do with burying fish heads in the corn field and IMHO was an admission of sexual promiscuity.

I also found out why my boss religiously attends the Comdex convention (Dave calls it 'Geek-O-Rama' and 'Nerdstock in the Desert') in Las Vegas every fall.It has a lot less to do with amazing, futuristic hardware and geeky souvenir tee-shirts than it does with the AdultDex convention down the street.

In the midst of this author's signature adolescent humor about hard-drives, bytes and mega-ram, he uncharacteristically inserts a tender internet love story.Frankly it made me a bit uneasy--rather like watching a Three Stooges movie, and just as Mo is ready to whack Curly over the head with a platypus, the Pope suddenly appears and launches into a homily about family values.It didn't work because frankly, I wasn't prepared to stop laughing and segue into tender empathy for two middle-aged losers.

Please Dave, stick to your booger jokes, at least in books with your picture on the cover.

:-D == (laugh-out-loud funny)
Now that Dave Barry has alerted me to the fact that Bill Gates wears a zucchini in his shorts, I will never be afraid of cyberspace again.Hahahahahaha...Oops, I'd better use an emoticon here if I want to be cybercool:

:-D == (a person laughing so hard he or she does not realize that a zucchini is sticking out of his or her pants).

Thanks to Dave, I can now display my feelings online, although I'm not certain how I'm going to work in his emoticon, "person who is none too pleased to be giving birth to a squirrel."Before reading this book, communicating with me via the internet was like trying to strike up a casual conversation with Lieutenant Data.I didn't have a clue about all of those nifty acronyms my friends were inserting into their 'instant messages'.I thought ROTFL had something to do with burying fish heads in the corn field and IMHO was an admission of sexual promiscuity.

I also found out why my boss religiously attends the Comdex convention (Dave calls it 'Geek-O-Rama' and 'Nerdstock in the Desert') in Las Vegas every fall.It has a lot less to do with amazing, futuristic hardware and geeky souvenir tee-shirts than it does with the AdultDex convention down the street.

In the midst of this author's signature adolescent humor about hard-drives, bytes and mega-ram, he uncharacteristically inserts a tender internet love story.Frankly it made me a bit uneasy--rather like watching a Three Stooges movie, and just as Mo is ready to whack Curly over the head with a platypus, the Pope suddenly appears and launches into a homily about family values.It didn't work because I wasn't prepared to stop laughing and segue into tender empathy for two middle-aged losers.

Please Dave, stick to your booger jokes, at least in books with your picture on the cover.

Better than you'd expect
This fine humorist tackled a subject that's been done to death and probably sold a whole lot of books doing it because he happens to be Dave Barry. A readable effort, but not a lot of belly laughs. However, there are two chapters where he decided to abandon the humor and go for realism. The result was some surprisingly moving fiction that mirrors life, quite unlike anything else I've read by Dave Barry. I haven't checked the timeline, but this is the guy who abandoned his humor column to be a novelist, and who improves which each novel. I got this at a book swap in Hangzhou, so for me it was definitely worth it. For the book-buying American, I have no idea. ... Read more

Product Description
Paperback version of book based on Dave Barry's 'Bad Song Survey' which drew votes from 10,000 readers - this book is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Amazon.com Review
Dave Barry, that indefatigable yukmeister, writes terrifichumor columns (never mind that they all begin to sound the same if youread him regularly). He's the funniest friend you never had. If youread his column--better yet, if you don't read his column--get yourhands on a copy of The Book of Bad Songs.

Barry's style isso effortless that you can't resist quoting him. This bit is from hismock-hortatory introduction: "If you keep reading, you're goingto have all kinds of bad songs waking up and creeping around insideyour brain, refusing to die, just like the corpses in the movie TheNight of the Living Dead ..." ... Read more

Customer Reviews (64)

Vey Funny!
This is laugh out loud funny, especially for anyone over 50 or 60 who will remember these songs. Dave Barry comments on popular songs' lyrics and includes comments from readers of his columns. Based on two previous columns on this topic. A lot of fun!

Bad songs we love to hate?
I may not agree with Barry's criticisms of some of these songs (some of them are among my favourites!) but I thoroughly enjoyed the book anyway. Besides, I think he must secretly like the songs as well, so it's all in good fun.

Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs
This book is hilarious. If you love rock and roll and a child of the 60's you MUST read it. I have read and re-read it and I can't stop laughing. I have given it as gifts and everyone loves it. Just be careful where you read it because you will laugh out loud.

Timothy... where on earth did you go....
OMG, I absolutely love this book!! It introduced to me to the very bizarre 70's song "Timothy" by the Buoys which is about three coal miners who get trapped in a cave-in and only two survived. It's awesome! Now whenever I hear the songs mentioned in this book, I always laugh! Why would some leave the cake out in the rain??!!

perfect gift book
This is the book I give people who need a lift and a laugh. Dave Barry takes songs that have irritated you for years and shines a light on why:the premise, the lyrics, the manufactured rhymes.If you've never thought about how idiotic a killing frost is, this book will get you thinking....and laughing until you cry.I read it the first time in a coffee shop, and two people went out to buy the book based on my reaction.Don't miss this one. ... Read more

Product Description
The New York Times calls him “the funniest man in America,” and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide.

In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on:

• The scientific search for the world’s funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word “weasel”)
• RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot
• Outwitting “smart” kitchen appliances and service contracts
• Elections in Florida (“You can’t spell Florida without ‘duh’”)
• The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating
• The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui
• The choice between death and taxes
And much, much more—including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11.

Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in more than 500 newspapers. His most recent books, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down and the novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business, were national bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh.

Also available as an eBook


From the Hardcover edition. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (16)

Very, very, very good (review of the CD audiobook)
5 discs.
6 hours.
Read by Dick Hill

"Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism" is a collection of Dave Barry's columns from the summer of 2000 through September of 2002. They are read expertly by veteran narrator Dick Hill. I usually hear Hill reading crime novels and the like but I was pleased to hear that he has expert comic timing and turns out to be a perfect narrator for Barry's offbeat sense of humor.

Topics include:

*The 2000 Democrat and Republican political conventions;
*The 2002 Salt Lake Winter Games;
*The Census;
*Camping in a Wal-Mart parking lot;
*and the silly trips in Cosmo magazine on how women can drive men wild.

Dave ends with two long essays about 9/11. One was published on 9/12 and does a great job of summing up the raw feelings and shock of the time. The second essay is much longer - by far the longest of the book. It was published on the one year anniversary of 9/11. It is simply brilliant. It incorporates the Gettysburg Address, an interview with the coroner in charge of the Shanksville plane crash scene and details Barry noted during a visit to both Gettysburg and Shanksville.

Mostly typical Dave Barry, with a highly unusual ending.
Most of this book is typical of Dave Barry's writing; hilariously funny, highly irreverent, and downright silly takes on subjects ranging from politics to giant squid. But what makes this book unique among Dave Barry books is that the final two essays are very powerful, deadly serious essays written after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center Towers and the Pentagon. There is not a hint of humor in these two essays, and eight years after those events, these essays are powerful enough to bring me to the edge of tears. Who knew that Dave Barry had it in him?

Given what it takes to make him write seriously, I hope to never see another serious column by him. But it was fascinating to see that he actually DOES have a serious side, and can write just as well seriously as he can humorously.

loved it!
I purchased this particular book because I wanted the articles about Grand Forks, North Dakota.When I received it and read those specific ones first, then I went back and started at the beginning...and could barely put it down.Mr. Barry is one of our favorite writers and always has us in stitches about some of the things he comes up with.
I wish I had his quick wit and fantastic humor.: )

Dave and the The Clown Narrator from Hell
I've been reading Dave Barry for years, and have developed my own impression of Dave's comic voice. It is laid back, dry, a little slow-witted and beer-addled, maybe. But it is not the bozo-clone, wacky-happy voice that was chosen to read this compilation of Dave's work. I can only assume that Dave was ball-gagged and duct-taped to his office chair when the auditions were going on. *My* Dave would never have allowed his work to be so hokily performed.

Anyway, "Boogers Are My Beat" is another workmanlike effort from the master of modern comedy. Dave uses his standard comedic formulae (suggesting phrases as good names for rock bands, using outrageous numerical exaggerations and making self-deprecatory remarks about his lack of masculine skills) to actually write some decent material. In spite of Bozo the Narrator, it is still possible to get a few laughs from these columns, which is a testament to the quality of Dave's wit. Dave covers the 2000 Democratic and Republican conventions, where he beats up on silly demonstrators who shout on behalf of "the people.". He climbs a Florida trash heaps with Tenzig Norgay's son, samples the fine products of Grand Forks, ND (a baggie filled with peat) and describes life with his 2-year old Barbie-loving daughter. His piece on driving a new Hummer pokes fun at the price tag and at its hyper-macho gadgetry, including self-inflating tires. Dave avoids direct analysis of politics -- though his endless Bill Clinton jokes (Clinton is a philanderer! Ha! Ha!) seem dated and got on my nerves. But the Office of Homeland Security made a horrible faux-pas (literally, weasel poop) when it picked him, his wife and toddling daughter for an extensive airport screening. What better way to show the ludicrous nature of our screening procedures than to force the 2-year-old child of a famous humor columnist to crawl alone through a metal detector.

Anyway, there are worse ways to experience the comic stylings of Dave Barry. Just kidding -- short of special rendition, this audio CD *is* the worst way. Get the book and record it yourself, even if you are just learning to read. Or just read it the old-fashioned way from the printer page. You'll thank me later.
______________________________
On a more somber note, Dave ends of volume with two of his 9/11-related columns. While he's not a master of global nuance, his columns were full of heartfelt emotions for those who had lost loved ones in the attacks. His evocations of the spirit of Gettysburg (in his reflection on the experience of Flight 93, which crashed into Shanksvillee, PA) were somber and actually quite profound. Not bad for a guy who normal jokes about bodily effusions.

Funny Stuff!
Dave Barry has written and selected an extremely humorous collection of his articles from The Miami Herald.There is a huge margin in difference of quality in Boogers are My Beat than in his initial non fiction books such as Dave Barry's Bad Habits.Boogers are My Beat is one of those rare books that once you start turning the pages you don't want to put down until the back cover.Dave Barry educates his fellow man on a diverse range of topics such as why you can't use the towels hanging in the bathroom, the Salt Lake City Olympics, babies on airlines, North Dakota, Bear in the Big Blue House and cell phones to name just a few.

His article written the day after September 11 and one written a year after, about the Philadelphia crashed plane are also included which prove Barry could have been a serious writer if he had pursued that career.Thankfully he didn't because the rest of the book is hysterically funny as is his Carl Hiaasen style fiction novel Tricky Business.Big Trouble isn't bad either. Check them out along with his other non fiction novels as well.
... Read more

Product Description

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author, and Wheel of Fortune contestant Dave Barry exposes the shattering truth. Whether he's splashing with the U.S. sychronized swim team ("Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow") or reliving the Pilgrims' first Thanksgiving ("We've decided to obliterate your culture, but first may we try the stuffing?"), Dave Barry proves that one man can make a difference--by having the guts to answer the questions few people bother to ask:

 ¸  What makes people want to eat animals they would never consider petting?
 ¸  Where do the World's Three Most Boring People meet?
 ¸  Why is Colorado freezing so many human gonads?
 ¸  And just how does Oprah have the power to turn a 1957 Hotpoint toaster manual into a #1 bestseller?Amazon.com Review
"Booger." In case you're wondering, that's the titleof a winning entry from a parody contest that Dave Barry's flagshippaper, the Miami Herald, ran in 1989. There's more to DaveBarry than "boogers," of course--he's the McDonald's ofAmerican humor. One, nearly everybody likes him. Two, he'severywhere. Three--and this is the key--when you open one of hisbooks, you know exactly what you're going to get: "Eugene islocated in southwest Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles fromanything." "If you're looking for a hearty entree that (1)is related to spiders; (2) is descended from a worm; and (3) hasmutant baby-poopers walking around on its lips; then you definitelywant a lobster." This collection of columns--sure to servebillions and billions--is called Dave Barry Is from Mars andVenus. (Strangely, it isn't a parody of John Gray's series,even though there's nobody better equipped to do one.) Inside you'llfind the same genial, absurd fantasies, riffs on clippings that Barryinsists he is not making up, and bizarre personal adventuresthat are his trademark. Do you like hamburgers? Of course--and you'lllike this book, too. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (19)

pretty funny, but ... see review
Personally I like all Dave Barry's books. Some are better than others, but all have really funny things here and there. If you are like me, try "Pocket Idiot. The complete idiots guide to idiots."

It is up on current events, both current news and politics and nothing is funnier than idiots!
I am sure you know quite a few yourself. The "How to marry like an idiot" chapter is going to be classic.

Amazon link:
www.amazon.com/Pocket-Idiot-complete-idiots-ebook/dp/B00394FJ6O

Lame and not at all funny
I really didn't like this book. It seems to me that the author thinks he's really funny or clever, but in my opinion, he is neither. It's really just a collection of articles from his column which is published in the Miami Herald and many other newspapers. None of what I read was anywhere near "Pulitzer Prize" winning content, but apparently he was awarded one at some point in time. Don't waste your time with this one.

Not His Best Collection
Whilst From Mars and Venus certainly isn't Barry's best work it is not at the bottom of the list either.Published in 1997 it is rather dated in parts but a lot of the topics are still extremely relevant today.Barry has included photographs as well in this book which he doesn't always do, which are quite funny.In From Mars and Venus Barry covers topics such as synchronised swimming, laser tag, gravity, fashion tips for men, snowmobiles, snowboarding, dog sledding, Wheel of Fortune, Harley Davidson jerks, Classical Music, playing the part of a corpse in an Opera, Hilary Clinton asking him to lunch then declining because he wouldn't do it off the record, going on Oprah, annoying commercials and Florida drivers to name just a few.Definitely check out other non fiction collections such as Boogers are My Beat as well as his sensational fiction novels especially Tricky Business.

Another Work of Pure Genius!
This book is one of Dave Barry's best books ever.It has a multitude of really good columns in it, and my favorites are as follows:

"Warp Speed"--wherein Dave Barry discusses flying (and puking) in a fighter jet.
"The Avenging Death Killer of Doom"--wherein Dave Barry discusses playing laser tag.
"Saving Face"--wherein Dave Barry discusses laser tag again; this time regarding getting hit in the face with a laser gun.
"Brain Sludge"--wherein Dave Barry discusses how no one can remember the names of all the Supreme Court justices, but they can remember all the words to the "Robin Hood" TV show theme song from the 1950's.
"The Cigar Avenger"--wherein Dave Barry discusses getting the World's Best Water Gun and using it in a superherolike fashion.
and
"One Potato, Two Potato..."--wherein Dave Barry discusses firing a potato cannon.

For those of you unfamiliar with Dave Barry's work, this book is hilarious and you desperately need to get it out of the library, at the very least.
And as for those of you familiar with Dave Barry's work, if you've read his previous works and liked them, then you also really need to read this one.

Most laugh-out-loud moments of the recent Barry
This book gave me the most laugh-out-loud moments I can remember from a Barry book.

Some of my favorite columns in this one include "Speed Trap," regarding the abolishment of the national pretend speed limit of 55 miles per hour.Another is "Eureka!," regarding the invention of "buffalo-style" wings, which means (according to Barry) "to people who have been drinking beer."He theorizes that buffalo wings are the same bones over and over, run through the dishwasher before being re-served to customers. ... Read more

Product Description
From the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist comes a celebration of the aging process. Not just Dave's, but that of the whole Baby Boom Generation--those millions of us who set a standard for whining self-absorption that will never be equaled, and who gave birth to such stunning accomplishments as Saturday Night Live!, the New Age movement, and call waiting. Here Dave pinpoints the glaring signs that you've passed the half-century mark:

- You are suddenly unable to read anything written in letters smaller than Marlon Brando.
- You have accepted the fact that you can't possibly be hip. You don't even know if "hip" is the right word for hip anymore, and you don't care.
- You remember nuclear-attack drills at school wherein you practiced protecting yourself by crouching under your desk, which was apparently made out of some kind of atomic-bomb-proof wood.
- You can't name the secretary of defense, but you can still sing the Mister Clean song.

So pop open a can of Geritol®, kick back in that recliner, grab those reading glasses, and let the good times roll--before they roll right over you!Amazon.com Review
When your average baby boomer wakes up and discovers he's old,it might not be the funniest moment of his life. But Dave Barry isn'tyour average boomer. And he doesn't read this--his hilarious accountof turning 50--with the expected whining grief of someone whose worldhas become utterly pointless. No, where others might shriek in horrorat the thought of getting "wrinkled, and forgetful and achy, and thatyou gain weight merely by watching food commercials," Mr. Barry takesa much more mature and less-panicked approach--he cracks jokes. Foranyone accustomed to Barry's writing, with its trademark drollery andknowing wit, his off-handed narration and casual, Everyman's voicewill bring an added pleasure to his hysterical observations on thegolden years--especially if their eyes have started to go, along withtheir teeth and hair and other remnants of fleeting youth. (Runningtime: three hours, two cassettes) --George Laney ... Read more

Customer Reviews (38)

Love All Dave Barry Books
My collection of Dave Barry books has reached scary proportions. I love this book because it reflects so much of what we are all feeling also. That knowledge that you are getting older, but still are a teen-ager at heart. Dave always reaches the teen-ager in me. Guess it is his immaturity and I love immaturity! Great Book!

Cover picture is the funniest part of this book
I like Dave Barry, but it turns out I like him in 5-minute morsels.I recently started taking my kids on weekly excursions to our local library.When I saw this book on display, I thought, "Hey, I like Dave Barry."

Well, I got 1/4 or 1/3 of the way through it before realizing that it just wasn't very funny.No point in finishing.I don't usually abandon books, but I'm finding it easier to do with a due date looming.While I have been a semi-regular reader of his columns, this was my first Barry book.Other reviews here assure me that other books are much funnier, so it may not be my last, but I'm not likely to go out of my way for them - even during a regular trip to the library.

On his semi-centennial, Dave takes us on a belabored walk down memory lane, enumerating various unfunny events in a year-by-year, blow-by-blow fashion.It's good for a chuckle here and there, but it frankly wasn't worth the effort to pick up and carry home - and remember, it was free.

Fortunately, I can return it without hassle.

I'd never read Dave Barry's writing before, but I certainly will now . . .
Wow!This book is so funny that I kept my spouse awake with my raucous laughter -- and had to put it away as soon as he fell to sleep so I didn't end up in divorce court.

After sharing a few anecdotes with him, we both started going to bed laughing hysterically as if we were back in high school!

A delightful read -- and wonderful gift for those boomers approaching their 50th birthdays.

Dave Barry's Genius
Anything by Dave Barry is genius - full of insight, uncannily funny, entertaining, and thought provoking.Dave Barry Turns 50 makes a perfect small gift for 50th birthdays (as does Dave Barry Turns 40 for those a decade younger.)

Barry has Written Better
This is one of Barry's books where he includes a lot of personal stories and like in other novels where he does this, the overall quality, entertainment and humour doesn't quite reach the high benchmark of his usual work where he just comments on the world.This book should really be called Dave Barry relives his life in the 60's and early 70's as that pretty much is all that's in this book.Even though when turning 50 Barry obviously lived must have lived through the 80's and 90's there is no commentary what so ever on these decades so if you weren't alive back in the 60's and 70's then obviously you are not going to enjoy the reminiscing factor.

An interesting look at America in the 60's and 70's but if you weren't alive back then I'd suggest better Barry non fiction books such as Boogers are My Beat and Homes and Other Black Holes.Also read Barry's fiction masterpiece Tricky Business.
... Read more

Product Description
Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a pretty amiable guy. But lately, he’s been getting a little worked up. What could make a mild-mannered man of words so hot under the collar? Well, a lot of things–like bad public art, Internet millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . and even bigger problems, like

• The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who apparently believe that the right lane is sacred and must never come in direct contact with tires
• The parent-misery quotient of last-minute school science fair projects
• Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe
• The plague of the low-flow toilets, which is so bad that even in Miami, where you can buy drugs just by opening your front door and yelling “Hey! I want some crack,” you can’t even sell your first born to get a normal-flushing toilet

Dave Barry is not taking any of this sitting down. He’s going to stand up for the rights of all Americans against ridiculously named specialty “–chino” coffees and the IRS. Just as soon as he gets the darn toilet flushed. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (22)

Funny at times, but not the best
This is another compilation of columns, somewhat more disjointed than Dave Barry's Money Secrets. It's great for listening to in a car, because there's really nothing - no plot - to keep track of, and you can just listen now and then. It's quirky and funny, that's about it. If you like the columns, obviously, this is something to listen to.

Close to five stars.
If I wasn't so familiar with Dave Barry's work, I would probably have called this a five star book; it is a delightfully funny collection of columns by one of the best humorists in the world. But I've seen better from Dave, and have come to expect it, so I have to rate this book at four stars, simply to differentiate it from his best work (Dave Barry Turns 40, Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up, Dave Barry's Book Of Bad Songs, Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, maybe Dave Barry's Greatest Hits).

Another hit from Barry
This is another collection of Barry's columns and a surefire hit for any fan.As usual, his columns pack a punch and end with a zinger or inside joke.Mr. Language Person makes an appearance or two in this collection, and Barry also takes on TV commericials, his relationship with his wife, and (always a winner) the life of his teenaged son.Recommended!

Very funny reading
Have you ever wanted to see a Pulitzer Prize-winning author sitting on the pot? Well, here's your chance with Dave Barry's book, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down! While the cover shot may have visions of the scatological Farrelly Brothers doing the can-can in your head, you can put a lid on that: Barry's humor is irreverent, yes, but it is tidy-bowl clean.

Although I appreciate a good laugh as much as anyone, I have a rather serious countenance. I'm the kind of person that total strangers come up to and command, "Smile!" Another oft-posed question is, "Why aren't you smiling?" Like I'm supposed to be standing in line at the Post Office or the DMV grinning like an idiot. One possible solution could be Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down! This book did have me smiling a lot, chuckling, and even - lo and behold! - laughing out loud. (This gets an entirely different reaction while standing in line at the Post Office or the DMV... It has fellow line-loungers casting furtive glances at the "wanted" posters on the walls.)

Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down! is a collection of the humorist's previously published columns. Barry has been with The Miami Herald for nearly 20 years now, and his commentary has been syndicated all over the planet - in case you are wondering (as was I), he received the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988. According to his bio, "Barry writes about various major issues relating to the international economy, the future of democracy, the social infrastructure and exploding toilets."

I have read several of Barry's books before, and while I prefer the ones on a theme (Dave Barry Does Japan is my personal fave), the compilations are fun too, because I'm always bound to find a little something that tickles me. The only complaint I have about these compilations, and this one in particular, are when timely themes are included. They "date" the book, and even though it's brand new, it seems old in some places (one I can recall offhand is mention of the impending Y2K problem that never materialized).

There were quite a few bits and pieces that struck a personal chord with me. As the driver of a little sports job, I was howling with laughter at Barry's rant on SUV drivers:

"...What people mainly do with Sports Utility Vehicles, as far as I can tell, is try to maneuver them in and out of parking spaces. I base this statement on my local supermarket, where many of the upscale patrons drive Chevrolet Subdivisions. I've noticed that these people often purchase just a couple of items - maybe a bottle of diet water and a two-ounce package of low-fat dried carrot shreds - which they put into the back of their Subdivisions, which have approximately the same cargo capacity, in cubic feet, as Finland... Then comes the scary part: getting out of the parking space... I drive a compact car, and on a number of occasions have found myself trapped behind a Subdivision backing directly toward me, its massive metal butt looming high over my head, making me feel like a Tokyo pedestrian looking up at Godzilla. I've tried honking my horn, but (they) can't hear me, because they're always talking on phones the size of Chiclets (The Bigger Your Car, The Smaller Your Phone, that is their motto)."

And forget Mars and Venus - Barry knows guys better than Gray could ever hope to. He has a reoccurring report in his column on Stuff That Guys Do, and a couple of them are presented here in the chapters Rubber-Band Man ("...Guys like to do stuff. This explains both the Space Shuttle and mailbox vandalism."), and Rock of Ages ("At some point or another, almost every guy wants an electric guitar. Electric guitars exert a strong appeal for guys, because they combine two critical elements: 1. guitar, 2. electricity.")

This is the sort of book that you'll want to read passages from, aloud, to anyone within earshot whether they like it or not. Barry has something to say about everything from the government's spending habits to the climate in Florida. Even if you're not especially interested in the government's spending habits or the climate in Florida, I bet you'll get a snicker or two from Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down! You really can't go wrong with this book.

Let's just say Dave Barry is the American Standard of humorists working today. He goes to the head of the class. He's a damn sight funnier than Harry Potter. And as I mentioned previously, Barry's humor is clean: With the holidays coming up, you can safely buy this book for all the Janes and Johns on your list. (Okay, even I'm flushed with embarrassment now...)

Hilarity for everyone on every topic
Dave Barry who can make a prison lifer laugh until his internal organs burst, meaning that he can make someone laugh about...anything.This is the first Dave Barry book I have read and it has put me on a diet of his humor for a long time.His essays/columns are the perfect length for any subject.I admit that I have had quite a few natural laughing highs since reading his words.I highly suggest this book for anyone. ... Read more

Product Description
Dave Barry follows his acclaimed debut novel, Big Trouble, with a book that leads readers into a crazy complexity of money laundering, drug dealing, murder, sex, violence, hijacking, and undercover work-not to mention barbs aimed at overbearing mothers, corrupt officials, inept authorities and, of course, the American crime novel itself. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (100)

bad novel from a good writer
I guess this is supposed to be a comedic farce but I really wasn't
able to laugh at it after the one character brutally castrates and
murders another.

I've read some Elmore Leonard stuff and this isn't even close. I get
the idea the author is trying to write the kind of snappy crime
fiction Leonard is known for, but the voicing is just off.

The book wants to be a farce, and the final third of it, as
conflict comes to a head and the bullets fly, does have a
farcical quality.I enjoyed the film version of "Big Trouble"
(didn't read the book) which, perhaps due to inspired direction,
was a light crime farce.

Really a poor novel, but not too tedious because Barry does have
a thread of breezy wit in his writing style.I question his
choice of how he's gone about writing in the crime genre here.

Over-Written & Under-Funny
Having been a voracious reader for sixty-some years, (& having authored a bit) I've worked my way through some less-than-perfect novels.Unfortunately, I was only able to get to page 89 in this book.Very disappointing because I love a good Florida caper.Hated to waste the $1.08 I paid @ the Dollar Tree, but noticedthe book was printed on very nice paper. I managed to take the whole thing apart & ran it through my paper shredder.Because the author used so many extra words, now I have a nice fat layer for my compost pile.

Mr. Barry, when you let deadlines slip & are thus forced to produce words under duress, it is a burden to the reader.Shame on your editor for not maintaining a tighter rein, for you do have the ability to write very funny, even thought-provoking, stuff.I think you have other things more important in your life now than writing, but I'll keep my fingers crossed that the next novel will be a bette romp.

It's Criminal Not to Laugh!
Dave Barry's not necessarily a name that immediately springs to mind when talking about mystery writers. But you know what? It should. The humorist who has made us all chuckle and laugh at his own (and there by- our own everyday stupidities) has written a very entertaining mystery that is well worth reading.
Plot wise, well, there's enough to carry the weight of the story, but it's Barry's take on his characters (and our compulsive obsessions) that makes this book a spot on hoot and a charmer.
While most mysteries or whodunnits take us into the dark side of life Barry's TRICKY BUSINESS reels us into the absurd side of crime, complete with cover bands with little direction, young moms trying to make a living, old moms trying to get their sons to make a living ('You want waffles?)and a Florida based gambling boat owner and players that know there's more than just the odds can be manipulated.
There's a smile or two in every chapter and some occasional hilarious insight here.

Dave Barry should stick to humor columns
When I bought this book, I did not realize that it was a novel. I thought it was the usual collection of his columns. When I started reading it, I was quite pleasantly surprised, since the way he introduced the characters was quite interesting and funny.
After all the characters were in place, however, the book degenerated into a mish mash of slap stick. After a while, it was difficult to keep track of who was where and doing what to whom.
A total disaster.

Good, clean fun--well, some kind of fun, anyway
I'm clearly in the minority on this one, but I actually thought Tricky Business was a little better than Big Trouble.Dave's fiction style has improved--he's not just trying to write a novel in the style of one of his humor columns this time.Consequently, the over-the-top silliness is toned down somewhat here, leaving a good crime thriller bordering on spoof.

The audio version is well-read by Dick Hill, although he doesn't seem to be as into it as he was reading some previous Barry books. ... Read more

Product Description
"Dave Barry is one funny human."
--San Francisco Examiner

For thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. Deep down inside, guys are extremely shallow.

But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them. If you're a guy--or if you're attempting to share a remote control with one--you need this book, because it deals frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as:

• Scratching
  
• The role of guys in world history, including the heretofore-unknown relationship between the discovery of North America and golf
  
• Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series, but not necessarily the names of all his children
  
• The Noogie Gene
  
• Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts
  
• Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher Method
  
• Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a prostate
  
• And much, much more
  
  

Customer Reviews (24)

Laughed till I cried
Although it's been a while since this book was written, it has held up well with the passage of time.I read it while on a flight to Seattle and I laughed so much I cried.

Funniest Book Ever Written - Beware side-splitting laughter
This book was confiscated from me many times in high school, because my laughter from the back of the classroom would indicate that I wasn't paying attention. Yeah, I was a bright kid. Still, I have to think that if my teachers had read the book, they'd have been laughing too hard themselves to teach. I STILL can't read a passage aloud from start to finish without cracking up.

My family loves this book so much that it has become part of our daily vernacular: my dad will say, "Hey, it's just like Roger and Elaine, from that Dave Barry book, remember?" OH, Roger and Elaine. Their story is more revealing than any relationship self-help book that you will ever read. And there is also of course the point of the NASA program, the public-restroom problem, and the truth about Larry Bird. It's all here: enjoy, if you dare.

Absolute hilarity from beginning to end!!
There are very few books that I say are absolutely hilarious, but this is one of them!!

A collection of articles as almost all of Barry's books are, they all have the focus of what makes guys, guys. Not men, there are plenty of books out there about men, this is not one of those.

Trying to tell a potential reader what made this book so funny would be like trying to re-write the book and I just can't do that. Suffice it to say that there were numeroud times when I just had to read parts aloud to my wife. One time, I was laughing SO hard that I had to hand the book to my wife and point to the page and, in between breaths, say, "Read this!"

You can't go wrong with this book. If you are looking for a laugh, buy this book!

This is The Single GREATEST Book Any Woman Should Buy--the Sooner the Better.Mothers Should Give it to Their Daughters
Dave Barry's "Complete Guide to Guys" is at once one of the funniest and fact-filled books I have ever read.I had the good fortune to be a little sister to two big brothers growing up, then married a guy, and have spent my career in fields wherein I was the only female professional on a staff of at least 35 or so males, and needed to maintain my femininity while being accepted as "one of the guys."

Dave's book was a Godsend in terms of understanding the "guyness" in my beloved husband and the men and guys with whom I worked.While being ENORMOUSLY entertaining, it contains so many nuggets of truth that will save a multitude of fights in a marriage (and thus, if the woman doesn't bug her husband about his guy stuff, he won't get on her case about her "girly-girl" stuff, which HE doesn't get, but unfortunately to which there is no guide).Ladies, this book will make you look like such a heroine at home and work, because almost NO women "get it" when it comes to the "guyness" in men, and constantly berate them when they're simply doing their "guy thing."

All Mothers should give a copy to their daughters as soon as possible when they're growing up, and I am not exaggerating here, since the guy thing sets in very early in a boy's life. You'll be giving your daughter the advantage of understanding this concept as soon as she possibly can, and maybe get along better with her male classmates at school, and not, as I did, think they were complete, shall we say politely, "jerks."

Anyway, I have never taken the time to write a book review before, but in the case of Dave Barry's "Complete Guide to Guys," I just had to, since it is one of my all-time favorite books (and I am an avid reader).Over the years since its publication, I have bought many copies of it and given them away to cool women who I thought would appreciate knowing the wealth of very useful information about their husbands, sons, boyfriends, colleagues, clients, neighbors, and any other males in their lives.Can't recommend it enough.

Hilarious and useful!
As a guy, it is hard not to like something that is clearly written by another guy trying to explain to the rest of the world why we're wired the way we are.

As Barry says, "Woman have always wondered, 'just what are guys thinking?' ... and the answer is, of course, 'not very much'". It's true! Guys are simple creatures -- give a guy a beer and a steak, and he gets happy. Turn off his TV during a game and he becomes unhappy. Cause and effect. None of those inexplicable mind games or multiple levels of reasoning and analysis other genders tend to display; what you see is what you get.

And all jest aside, I think that this is a key message that really needs to get across more so that women everywhere learn to adjust expectations accordingly. A forgotten anniversary is just that -- stupid forgetfulness -- not a sign that he's secretly begun loathing her and now fired the first shot in a battle that will last years and eventually lead to a bitter divorce. A dirty sock on the kitchen counter is not a demonstration of his disrespect for your mother. And yes, that 49ers game really IS more important than your coworker's baby shower.

Of course, this is a humor book so expect at least three laughs per page -- par for the course in Dave Barry reading. So you have a great time PLUS you can use it to make others gain a better understanding when you're done with it. If I ever get married, I'll make sure to strategically leave this book out and "available" -- chances are I just might save myself a ton of grief. ... Read more

Product Description
A collection of columns by the author of Dave Barry Does Japan offers the humorist's profound observations on the institutions and mores of American society, from smoking to the battle of the sexes. Reissue. 125,000 first printing. $50,000 ad/promo. Tour.Amazon.com Review

"To most people, news means information aboutevents that affect a lot of people. On local TV news shows, news meansanything that you can take a picture of, especially if a local TV NewsPersonality can stand in front of it."

When you're looking for a good belly laugh, sometimes only Dave Barrywill do. Dave Barry's Bad Habits skates from topic to topic,always light, always rambunctious. For the dedicated fan, it's anessential volume; for the rest, it's yet more evidence that Barry isthe Zen master of written mirth. --Michael Gerber ... Read more

Customer Reviews (14)

Barry funny
If this book does not bring a smile to the reader, I will hand over a promissory note of nineteen quad-glop-a zillion.

Notice I did not specify in what. Could be in lime-green, bug-eyed clams, or could be in three-legged chairs.
By small coincidence this is also the number of lethal microbes in a tub of outdated chicken salad left on the kitchen counter for a week and a half. In July. With no air conditioning.

At any rate, open to any one of the 290 pages and you will get a chuckle, a chortle. Maybe even a bag of BBQ chips. Well, probably not the chips.

Dave Barry's collection of essays from the 1980's is a mirthful literary tap-dance of thoughts and insight from every angle of life as we know it (or possibly thought we knew).Government absurdities, the sports world, growing up, vacations, health habits, doctors, education, it's all here.

This book will make your day brighter. If laughter is the best medicine, then everyone on the planet should have a copy. But then again, doctors would have to find another occupation.

A solid gift for any occasion
I put this one down on my Christmas list as I was looking for humor and odd fact sort of books. Prior to reading Bad Habits, I'd never heard of Dave Barry but was definitely intrigued by the "100% fact-free book" quote and it peaked my interest.

Barry looks at a plethora of issues that faced America in the 1980's and pokes fun at the Reagan Administration, the economy, government jobs, taxes, health habits, pop culture, the solution for kids to stop smoking (skip the 10th grade of course), attempts to communicate with alien life, family vacations/traveling, and of course no book is complete without commentary on our sports. Among my favorites is easily the air traffic controller dialogue :D


Pilot: This is Flight 274, requesting landing instructions
Controller: Well, if it was me, I would put the wheels down first, but don't quote me on that.
Pilot: No, I already know how to land, I was hoping you could tell me which runway I should land on.
Controller: Ah. Let me just turn on the little screen here and -- There we are. Say, is that you about to plow into the mountain?
Pilot: No.
Controller: Oh. That must be one of Bob's. (Yelling to another controller:) Bob, could you turn your screen on for a second? One of your planes is about to -- Wait, forget it.
Pilot: Um, look, we're running out of fuel here, so I'd really appreciate if you could possibly --
Controller: Hey, lighten up, will you? Do you want to make me tense and crazy so Reagen can fire me? (Yelling to other controllers.) Hey guys! I think I got a Republican here! (Laughter in background, shouts of "Steer him into the mountain!")
Pilot: Look please --
Controller: Hey, no sweat. We're just having some fun. I'll get back to you with a runway right after my break.
Pilot: But -- , Controller: (Click.)

Equally as interesting is Barry's synposis of popular classics and poems. Such as Moby Dick's central theme, "Don't mess around with large whales, because they symbolize nature and will kill you", as well as A Tale of Two Cities with "French people are crazy". I give this book four stars though because some of the parts were just too corny. Kind of I guess pg-13 humor and with my warped sense of humor, I want something a little more adult/darker I suppose :).

All in all, not a bad book and seeing as how a lot of Barry's books on here are fairly cheap, I'll definitely be looking to pick up a few more in the near future.

-Travis

Not funny
I didn't like this book at all.I got to page 32 and laughed only twice.I guess I don't get his humor.

Habits you'll want to pick up
I didn't have a clue who Dave Barry was when I checked this book out of a library in 1984. I just saw the disclaimer, "A 100% Fact-Free Book," and was attracted by that kind of truth in advertising. There were three adults living in the house, and you could always tell, day or night, when somebody had picked up "Bad Habits" by the sounds of choking laughter. We spend two blissful weeks periodically resuscitating each other. Quintessential Dave. Read it.

Better Barry Books Out There
Dave Barry's Bad Habits has comedy fiction writer Dave Barry trying his hand at the non fiction market.Although he achieved quality work in this genre with later attempts such Homes and Other Black Holes, this book was clearly just cashing in on the success of his fiction with little effort put in whatsoever.There's lots of references to Commies which either means Barry was extremely paranoid and brainwashed by his government of the time or he is retelling the same joke over and over again throughout the book, a joke that isn't that funny the first time and is really irritating when repeated and repeated and repeated. Barry also insists on telling us his personal stories in this book, obviously the publishers had a word in his ear with future non fiction books as these stories are hardly evident in those books but unfortunately they are here and aren't that interesting.

Dave Barry can write some really good stuff, both fiction and non fiction.Dave Barry's Bad Habits unfortunately is not one of those occasions.
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Product Description
Grdankl the Strong, president of Kprshtskan, is plotting to take over the American government. His plan is to infiltrate the science fair at Hubble Middle School, located in a Maryland suburb just outside Washington. The rich kids at Hubble cheat by buying their projects every year, and Grdankl's cronies should have no problem selling them his government-corrupting software. But this year, Toby Harbinger, a regular kid with Discount Warehouse shoes, is determined to win the $5,000 prize-even if he has to go up against terrorists to do it. With the help of his best friends, Tamara and Micah, Toby takes on Assistant Principal Paul Parmit, aka "The Armpit", a laser-eyed stuffed owl, and two eBay buyers named Darth and the Wookiee who seem to think that the Harrison-Ford-signed BlasTech DL-44 blaster Toby sold them is a counterfeit. What transpires is a hilarious adventure filled with mystery, suspense, and levitating frogs.
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Customer Reviews (17)

science fair-worst book i've ever read
firstly, i want you to be aware of the fact that disney wrote this book so if you are older than 10 years old you WILL hate it.
#1 Because it has been written in such a simple form of writing even a foreign 8-year-old could add more spice to the reading.
(example: "blablablabla?" said character#1 "blablablabla" said character#2 "blablablabla" said character #1 "blablablabla!!!!!" said character #3)
you can see he doesn't use words such as "replied" or "asked" perhaps even "questioned" in some cases that could fit. If you own this book open it on a random page where there is a discussion and you'll see.
#2 The things that happen that are supposed to be funny are SO worn out and lamer that the typical "the guy stepping on a banana and falling" (example: when they get capture by the FBI and the kid uses invicibility to get to the control room or whatever and he says something like "there is a poisonous gas it will make your skin fall off and your eyeballs to blow up" with pauses to say things like "uhh" or "umm" to add some kind of joke-ish athmosphere.
#3 last but not least, the storyline and characters, the characters are so stereotypical, the M.E. kids being the bratts that are superficial, toby being the insecure teenager, one fo toby's friend being the rebel kid that doesn't respect the elder, and the guys with wierd names being the foreign 3rd world countriers that don't know what a freking coffe machine is, well let me tell you this i've lived in a "3rd world country" (or at least tagged like this by the ignorant americans) with cities that are bigger and more crowded with a better education system that is AT LEAST 1 year more advanced than the "avarage".
The storyline is pretty much worn out, AS WELL may i add? the kids that get in troubble, more troubble and even more troubble, they run from someone else and then save the world (or the U.S. in this case)

The only reason i got so far into the book is because our science teacher is freakin' lazy and instead of making us do class she makes us read a book that is mildly related to science, this review probably would be accepted by my WHOLE class.(13-15 year old middle-schoolers)

P.S.:I have nothing against anyone that likes the book, i just wouldn't take a book recomendation seriously from you.

Science is for everyone, old or young.
If you want to go back to Middle School to redo your science project, this is the book for you.All kidding aside, the kids and the parents are well-portrayed and the action both with the characters and the plot is non-stop.A good read.

Save the frog, save the world
Eighth grader Toby Harbinger has problems. One, he has two goons shadowing him, after he sold them allegedly faulty Star Wars merchandise - without his parents' permission. The other is the upcoming science fair - he's stumbled into a possible cheating ring that may be connected to an attempt to take over America.

While Toby and his friends attempt to solve the mystery, Grdankl the Strong, president of the Republic of Krpshtskan, is sending his minions to the US to carry out his plans. Like the goons in "Big Trouble," they aren't rocket scientists and are easily distracted. Fortunately, several of the legit science projects (featuring Rollerblade Barbie, Diet Coke and a levitating frog) manage to help save the day. Also helping are the Home Shopping Network, Judge Judy, an Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, and an invisibility iPhone.

I've no idea if any of the science details are accurate (some I remember from Barry's columns), but I laughed all the way through.My favorite part was when the President goes onto address the nation, tells them everything is under control and thinks, "I hope they're buying this."

Hilarious - I loved it!
I previously enjoyed the first two novels of the Peter and the Starcatchers series that Ridley Pearson and Dave Barry wrote, but I found Science Fair to be hilarious.

Science Fair is set in a middle school in the Maryland suburbs of Washington DC. Toby, the main character, is enrolled in the school's gifted program, along with other gifted students and others whose rich, powerful parents have bought their way in. The rich parents are obsessed with their kids' success to the point that they do the work for their kids. For example, one mother was said to have worked hard for all of her son's grades, starting with the professionally bound animal report he turned in in first grade.

Each year, the school conducts a science fair with a large corporate-sponsored prize. One of the rich kids always wins, because they purchase complicated projects from a strange store in the mall. However, there is a problem - Grdankl the Strong, the leader of the rogue nation of Krpshtskan, has enlisted an operative to rig the science fair so that the rich kids' projects can be utilized for a terrorist plot. Toby finds out about this, and he and his friends have to fix things.

The plot and the details of Science Fair are absurd and over the top, but that is why I enjoyed it so much. Barry describes Krpshtskan in a way similar to the fictional Kazakhstan in Borat, with details like the national holiday for the tournament of the fighting death hamsters and Grdankl's slogan of "Vote for Grdankl or die." Another episode I found amusing was when two of Grdankl's operatives who were sent unwillingly to the U.S. to straighten out problems became addicted to the Home Shopping Network.

Science Fair is a book that definitely would appeal to kids, with its mix of humor and action. In fact, I loaned it to one of my sixth graders after I finished and he read the entire book in a single day. It would also appeal to adults who can enjoy a book that doesn't take itself seriously.

Young People Will Find Humorous, Groan-Worthy, And Even A Little Insightful
At Hubble Middle School (somewhere near Washington, D.C.), students wait with much anticipation for the annual science fair. Founded by billionaire inventor and Hubble alumnus Lance Swingle, the Hubble Science Fair is seen as a chance for students to use their scientific knowledge, have fun, and hopefully win the grand prize.

Unfortunately, as many students, teachers and parents know, the Fair is far from a friendly competition, and the only winners are the ME (Manor Estates) kids --- known more for being spoiled rotten than for being science geniuses. This year, the prize is bigger than ever: $5,000. For the ME kids, it's pocket change; but for students like Toby Harbinger, that kind of money could mean a world of difference --- especially when they have a crazed Star Wars fan after them.

In a rebellious moment, Toby decided he absolutely needed a new gaming computer, and the only way he knew how to get the funds for it was by selling some of his parents' Star Wars "junk" online. Forget that the BlasTech DL-44 may have been signed by Han Solo himself --- a rumor Toby doesn't really believe --- or that his parents might find out. But when an angry fan named D. Arthur Vaderian and his burly associate, the Wookiee, demand their money back, Toby realizes he must win the school science fair to set things right.

However, being a favorite target of the ME kids doesn't help Toby's plan, and in a rash moment of retaliation (involving a disgusting tofu enchilada and a rather embarrassed ME kid), Toby ends up in detention. That's when he figures out the truth behind the ME kids' science fair reign. Unfortunately, getting the proof that they're cheating, much less being believed, isn't going to be easy.

When Toby and his best friends, Tamara Reilley and Micah Porter, go to the Science Nook, they are given advice by the weird owner and science genius Sternabite. As Tamara and Micah figure out their project ideas, Toby tries to determine what the ME kids are up to. After battling a robotic owl with eggplant, Toby retrieves evidence of the conspiracy. However, when he tells the Hornet (Principal Plott-Garnett) and Mr. Neckstrom, Toby gets suspended!

In the midst of his academic crusade, Toby ends up in more trouble than he ever would have imagined and discovers that there's a much bigger plan at play. Will Toby be able to summon the Force, or will darkness reign?

Meanwhile, Grdankl the Strong, the president of Krpshtskan ("a poor mountainous nation with few vowels and a population of four million including goats"), looks forward to defeating the United States of America. With his associates Drmst (his fourth Vice President) and Vrsk (a computer administrator) waiting to meet Prmkt (a secret agent), nothing can stop his grand plan from happening. Except maybe the lure of the home shopping channel.

More than just a thrilling mystery-adventure, SCIENCE FAIR is a funny, over-the-top satire featuring social and global commentary, along with several pop culture references (both well and lesser known --- such as a rollerblading doll and a pizza franchise that were popular for all the wrong reasons in the 1990s), that young people will find humorous, groan-worthy, and even a little insightful. After finishing the book, readers won't think of anything the same way again.

--- Reviewed by Sarah Sawtelle ... Read more